Friday, August 14, 2015

There is no light at the end of the tunnel. It's a mirror!

NOTE: The following links on twin-flames have been referred to in this article. The readers who are new on this path, may check them first to get a proper background of what is being discussed here:


Well, that title has been borrowed from this write-up I came across, a few weeks ago. But yeah, I started to vaguely understand, during late 2013 I guess, that there is no proverbial light at the end of the path I'm walking and that it just started to mirror my own Karma, I've committed till then. But then, I don't think I have put this piece of wisdom to use consciously. I was perhaps just responding to events as they unfolded. this post itself has been triggered by the need I sense, to clarify certain aspects of twin-flame relationships. What drives me to write this is -- the turmoil happening all around the world in the name of Twin Flames and the enormous suffering thousands (or perhaps even lakhs) of twin flames are undergoing. Well, I have not met any of them in person, it's Internet that makes me aware of this suffering. For instance, this specific post with 108 (and counting) replies, which I skimmed through briefly.

Well, the news is that I'm NOT going to present you with any revelations or advice that will somehow magically solve all the drama and dilemma going on. You all know it's not possible for some magical piece of wisdom to cure all the emotinal dilemma. So, no solace or respite as such. But, I do want to present you with some bitter truth.

I'm a twin flame myself and I have been on both sides of the game. Well, that's only in hindsight and I did not do any of that running/chasing/waiting thing consciously when I actually did it. Infact neither my twin-flame nor myself did much of explicit running or chasing, so it might be right to say that we just left each other to the mercy of one's own. I've come to know about "Twin Flames" as a concept and a process that is happening around the globe after I've been through a fair share of the connection myself...after I already played my part with both the roles...and after touching upon as many stages as possible in a relatively short time. There, one might term me 'ignorant' of Internet. But atleast here, ignorance turns out to be a bliss for me. The awareness was just dormant in me for a while...I've joined this walk relatively late, compared to the world around. But, that's only in this current life time. I know that I've been through this a number of times before and that I'm only experiencing the consolidated phase of it now. So that way, I've been able to experience a fair share of my life "being" purely in the human realm within the boundaries of current lifetime alone and that grounding definitely helps! Luckily, I've come to know of the techincalities of this concept, when I was almost coming to terms with the fact that this is a difficult journey ahead and is going to take much 'time'? We never know!

So, I'm not here to offer any expert advice on how to go about it. I myself don't know. But we all do know that every twin-flame journey is unique and each of the twin-flame couples is at a different point in that cosmic journey. Given the complexity of the topic, I don't even know where to start. There are so many questions twin flames are facing currently - like, "Until when should I wait?", "Are twin flames bound to re-unite?" "Is the reunion guaranteed to happen in this very lifetime?" "If there is no guarantee, then why the hell does God/Universe put me through this suffering?" and oh so many more.

To answer these questions, there is a lot of advice online, spanning across a wide spectrum between extreme ranging from this one where there is a clear-cut advice that (the apparently) more-aware person has to wait, to the one where one is asked to shun off the twin-flame who does not express any concern towards their counterpart's existence. Ofcourse, there is always a middle path wherein people wait, work on it as much as their tolerance allows them to, check how destiny unfolds and then decide. Perhaps, this middle path is what most of us take. But then, there comes a time when one runs out of patience and has to decide either way or just plain die at all levels. At such a point, I find myself more or less agreeing with the latter end of the advice -- nothing in this world, not even twin-flame connection, needs to be strived for, at the cost of yourself, when that something is cutting across the core of yourself - your fundamentals that make you. One need not torment oneself waiting for the twin flame counterpart to turn up. It's a belief I have arrived at, the knowing of it wasn't there from the beginning itself. Though a fair share of that torment is unavoidable for the humans we are, we must by all means help ourselves by being easy on our ownselves first.

So, I don't really know what is right and what is wrong in this context. Perhaps there's no right or wrong way. There must surely be a right way to go about, for the Collective, but it is not possible for a person to know, in one's individual capacity, about what is right and what is wrong. (Edited on Aug 28, 2015). Infact, if there was no right or wrong way, then there must not be something like a good or a bad result. Isn't it? The very fact that all results are not good for us implies that all paths are not good. (Added on Sep 08, 2015). So all of us are perhaps acting with the best of intentions and abilities and at the end of the day have to bear the fruit of this collective action, good or bad! But I'd only say, when you are running out of patience, do not push yourself to the extent that you lose yourself and even if it seems a wrong choice (it might or might not turn out to be a wrong choice in hindsight), switch to that path which lessens your grief and pain at the moment, because otherwise you might break to the extent that the passion for life might just die within you. It is ok to make some mistakes in the short-run, because in the long run such mistakes WILL be normalized. At the end of the day, if it was meant to be, it will materialize. Whatever is yours is bound to return to you. But what if it was never yours? It is very important to find that out by freeing yourself from self-created illusions or internet-propogated myths. (Yes, this very post included too!)

I don't intend to touch upon all aspects of it because I'm not qualified for it in the first place. But, I shall write about two aspects of it, which I'm clear about:
  1. Lessons to be learnt.
  2. Who are twin flames?
Lessons to be learnt:

There is this growing idea that is echoed at various places on the Internet - "If your twin flame has not yet turned up after going away from you, then you have lessons to learn. Keep focusing on your spiritual growth!" Thank God, I ran into this idea only a few months ago, when I'm more or less clear about how to go about my path. It is definitely a well meant keen advice, but I'm afraid it might sometimes throw the waiting twin-flame into a much deeper abyss.

Ofcourse, we have lessons to learn! Who doesn't have? All couples, twin flames or non-twin flames alike, have lessons to learn. Infact a couple has MORE lessons to learn after coming together, on how to lead the good life, by exploring each other, by working on their equation with the society. And come to think of that phase when a couple forays into parenthood! That is going to be a whole new world for them and they will have lessons to learn constantly.

Which God ever said that you should learn all the necessary lessons before coming together itself? Life is too short to spend more than half of it learning about love, instead of living and experiencing it out! Life is too precious to spend decades waiting for unrequited love* (See Footnotes [1]). Really, it feels so painful to see couples waiting for decades to hear from their supposed twin-flame counterparts.

And now, let me drive this point clear. I'm NOT saying you should get married and settle down in life even if you don't find the right (compatible, at-par or whatever) partner. I'm NOT saying you should not work on love and spiritual growth. I'm aware that sometimes people just don't want to get married and would want to work on other aspects of life - be it getting rich, serving society or working on the spiritual front. I'm also aware that some people are very very clear about the person in their life and they are ready to wait for them at the cost of everything. (If you are really that clear, then ofcourse you wouldn't need any advice/help in the first place, nobody can ever stop you from waiting for your love). What I AM saying is - if you are keen on marriage and family, do NOT waste decades of your life waiting on ambiguous and unrequited love. Find a closure somehow. Do yourselves that favour, you deserve it by all means.

If you love a person, it doesn't necessiate that he/she must love you back, even if you believe you just know deep down your heart that he/she is your twin flame. It is possible that the two of you are at different levels of awareness and evolution. One might be aware of the connection and the other might not be. Ofcourse, it takes time for us to understand this, but it is important that we understand this loud and clear. And there's this another possibility wherein both of you are aware, but both of you have different expectations from the connection. Your goalposts in this journey might completely differ and then so will your checkposts. So, it is only natural that one of you denies or repels the other. I think, it is the second scenario which is quite tricky. (Ofcourse, there is a third possibility of false twin-flames, but I don't intend to cover that here.)                   

So, how does one deal with such a tricky scenario? To reiterate, here we are dealing with that scenario wherein you are sure that your twin flame counterpart IS aware of the connection, but yet doesn't respond for years. It is completely understandable that when one of the two is NOT aware of the connection, there is not much scope for discussion. But when both of you are aware of the connection and when a few years of life have already gone by trying to understand this, it is going to be very painful when one of the twin-flames totally shuts down the communication with the other* (See Footnotes [2]). There are numerous blogs which cover both aspects of runner-chaser dynamic, so I don't need to cover that part of it here. People are well aware of this dynamics already. All one might just want to know is, how to break free of this cycle.

So, by this time we know that the runner has his/her reasons to run and the chaser has his/her reasons to chase and both have their own reasons to wait/not wait for the other. There's no debate about it and there is a good level of agreement about this on Internet already. The task at hand is to find out how to break free of this cycle and find some peace in life - with or without this twin-flame connection reaching its fulfillment. So please consider re-prioritizing your priorities if you haven't already. The goal here is NOT to re-unite with your twin-flame come whatever may, but to balance yourself after (and through) this life-changing process and have some peace in life. A real twin-flame would always think that it would be just great to re-unite with one's twin flame, but the bitter truth I alluded you to, at the beginning of this post is this - it is NOT mandatory that all twin-flames must re-unite.  (We will see why, in the next part - "Who are twin flames?", but for now let's not lose track of our goal - how to break-free of this cycle of running-chasing-waiting.)

I guess only chasers (or to be more precise, 'waiters' - whosoever is waiting to listen from the other) would be able to relate with the current solution being proposed. That was my last role, so I only know how a chaser would be able to break free of it. I don't know what the runner (or the one who is not responding) must do. But I'd believe that once, one of the twin flames succeeds to break free of that cycle, then the cycle breaks at the other end too pertaining to the inevitable work done at the other end. So, maybe it would be right to say that this cycle breaks owing to the work of the both, but done without each other's knowledge.

The goal here is to bring about a convergence between your spiritual realm and physical realm. If your twin-flame is responding to you after many years of work on your self, then that's good (infact awesome, as that is all you have been asking for) and the spiritual relationship between both of you will only amplify the happiness and peace in life. But then we are talking about that case wherein you just don't know what your twin-flame counterpart is upto, when you have not been hearing them for years. In such a case, you do that to them on the spiritual plane, what they have done to you on the physical plane. Yes, they have shut you down on the physical plane, so you shut them down on the spiritual plane. And whether or not to re-unite in the physical plane, you deal with that in the physical plane itself! Trust and open communication lie at the heart of love. When there is deceit and manipulation, it is not love anymore, it becomes business. Yes, when you are able to successfully shut down the spiritual connection with your twin flame, you will get the clarity and strength needed to deal with the connection. Either you will have the courage to re-initiate the communication and create the scope to talk it out with them again or you will have the courage and peace to call the relationship off. If you give yourselves that closure, that's quite enough, it need not involve the partner who is not willing to talk about it openly.

Coming to the work I did on the astral plane so far, a part of it went into awakening and understanding the Karma that elapsed between me and my twin flame. But a significant part of it went into shutting down the connection. Initially I did not even understand what was happening. But as I meditated more and more and got in tune with my higher self, I understood that my higher self has been working for a long time through my past lives on shutting down the spiritual connection with him.

So, to summarize, if your twin flame doesn't turn up yet, after years of separation, it doesn't mean you have more lessons to learn down the path or have to do more spiritual growth, but it might just mean that you yourself need to severe sever (Typo! ;-) Checked and corrected it on April 16, 2017!) those spiritual chords with him/her. The only hard lesson you might have to learn is that you don't need this and that you might have to switch to a path with fewer sensible lessons. And when you do cut those chords down, cut them clean, bring out your stubborn, affirmative or even your cruel side there, if need be. Later, you will only be glad that you did!

The shutting down of spiritual connection with your twin-flame is NOT as such the end of the relationship between you and your twin flame!! To understand that we need to understand who twin flames are and on what mission they are now on earth. Let's take a look at that now!

Who are twin flames?

I'm NOT inclined to agree with this predominant online definition that twin flames are two bodies of the same soul, that they were initially one and then they split into two. Infact, it is the Universe as a whole which is so. The Universe as a whole is a Twin Flame. Here is how my understanding goes. This is the knowing/revelation I experienced through my Awakening process and I don't have the faintest of doubt of whether or not it is right. It is absolutely right for me* (See Footnotes [3]). But I do not claim the same correctness for others.

The Universe is in an eternal dance of fission and fusion of its twin/complementary aspects - That which IS and that which ISN'T! These two twin aspects can be equated to Energy and Consciousness or Feminine and Masculine aspects of the Universe respectively. During the fission, the first beings that came into existence are God and Goddess. Goddess is "That which IS" and God is "That which ISN'T". They are the first couple of the Universe. Since God is "That which ISN'T" we can say that eternally it is God who exists when the Universe is in an infinite state of nothingness. The paradox is "That which ISN'T" is That which IS eternal.

As the Universe expands through the dance between Consciousness and Energy, we see matter and void growing. The more the matter, the more (infact exponentially more) the void. The more the growth, the more the disorder. The more the galaxies and planets, the more the dark matter. After as much as growth is possible, there comes a time when the disorder that has been triggered by the growth is no more containable. It can no more be contained. (The Second Law of Thermodynamics - Law of Entropy - is the closest piece in Science that explains this process). That is when the Universe needs the fusion of its two aspects again so as to balance each other and hence keep the Universe in balance. If that fusion doesn't happen, it goes back to its state of nothingness. And after that, when that nothingness can no more be contained, it undergoes fission yet again as if the Universe has started all over again. But the intention of God and Goddess is to NOT allow such intermediate state of nothingness, but instead maintain a continuous sequence of fission and fusion. That is when they fulfill their role of keeping the Universe intact.

Now, look into the first sentence of the previous para a bit more deeply. It reads - "the dance between the Energy and the Consciousness", NOT - "the dance between the God and the Goddess". After the fission of the Universe, the God and Goddess split themselves into three couples - the couples who are responsible for the three fundamental aspects required for the functioning of the Universe - Creation, Maintenance and Destruction & Restoration. And these couples of Trinity who have been guarding the aspects of Mind, Body and Soul respectively, have taken the Universe forward. And their progeny constitutes the Cosmic Beings. Now, this aspect of Trinity though was realized through my Awakening process, I attribute my knowledge of Hinduism to have made me arrive at this understanding much easily. Anyway, the couples of Trinity are not too important in this context and you may just choose to ignore this concept for now. The idea that the Universe progressed ahead through God and Goddess would suffice. The human beings here on Earth, or for that matter, beings on any planet, are but cells of one of those Cosmic Beings. Life on every planet is guarded by a couple and different couples might guard it at different points of time.

So, in that sense, the expression of love between a man and a woman on Earth is also part of that 'dance between the Energy and the Consciousness'. This periodic occurrence of fission and fusion happens through Cosmic Cycles. Just as the Universe goes through a Cosmic Cycle, every system, big and small, has similar Cycles to go through, it's just that the periodicity differs with the scale of the system. Our Milky Way too has to go through them and so does our Earth. The process wherein such fission and fusion happen at the scale of the Earth is termed as "Precession of Equinoxes" (let's refer to it as PoE hereon).

Now, let's keep the Universe aside for some time and talk about our Earth alone. Before PoE is supposed to happen for Earth, the couple who is guarding life on Earth performs Saadhana (in this context, it means Cosmic Meditiation) to balance the Karma of the Planet and its Humanity. Saadhana is started well ahead (atleast 2-3 ages before the expected time of PoE, depending on the status of Karma) to allow enough time for preparation. Let me term the couple as the "Sustenance Couple" for it is They who work for the Sustenance of life on Earth. They can be considered as the God and Goddess for Earth, for it is through them that all life here receives the aspects/energies of Trinity (Mind, Body and Soul). Ofcourse, parts of the energies can also be contributed by other Cosmic Beings (Deities), but it is this couple which is responsible to take care of all life, at the end of the day. It means, as life progresses here on Earth, there is a collective Feminine aspect and a Masculine aspect woven continuously and those aspects are borne by the Sustenance Couple to balance the Karma. This is to keep the planet and its life in balance when it undergoes PoE.

But as it is said, Karma is a beasty bitch! It is not so easy to balance it. During the Saadhana for the current cycle of PoE, be it due to some dark forces or be it due to the inherent complexity of the process itself, an unfortunate series of events transpired and the Sustenance Couple ended up in incompatible roles. They ended up being in such a state that longer the Saadhana, the longer the unresolved Karma. Thus, the unfortunate Cosmic Error that creeped in (or was triggered) implies that it made the collective Masculine and Feminine pull away from each other and go on divergent paths. Since their Cosmic States were corrupted, the couple had to resort to the alternative of doing the work on Earth itself in the confines of their human selves. It means their work has shifted from the spiritual dimension to the earthern (physical) dimension. Rather, it would be right to say that they continued to do the spiritual work from the physical dimension to sort out that incompatibility. This shift happened approximately some 2500 years (earth-years) ago.

During such outliers, the work is delegated to other couples too (who are very much part of the Sustenance Couple), instead of confining it to the Sustenance Couple alone (very natural since the Sustenance Couple itself is not in its highest state possible). It is pretty similar to this case - when you have very less stress, every cell of your body is pretty much in a good state and is in sync with the master of the body and requires less work (meditation or whatever) to recharge it. The higher the stress, the higher the explicit work (more meditation, more medicines, exercise, counselling etc) needed on each and every cell to sync them with the master. It is when the work load is high or when there is an emergency or an external aggression, that certain parts of the body are explicitly triggered into action (let's just say White Blood Corpuscles :-)).

These couples who have taken the responsibility of playing their part in balancing the collective Karma are exactly those twin-flames, as we are referring them to, today. Infact, no couple is a twin flame as such. Not even the God and the Goddess! But the God and Goddess bear the Twin-Flame aspects of the Universe. And so is the Sustenance Couple bearing the twin-flame aspects of the Earth. Every system which is a whole, every living system, is a reflection of the Universe and inherently has twin-flame aspects within itself. It is the constitution of twin-flame aspects that makes it a whole. Any system created or randomly evolved, even a chaotic system (be it a system in chaos or a system born out of a chaos) inherently churns twin-flame aspects as it sustains to continue as a whole. It is when the twin-flame aspect goes out of balance to the extent it breaks off, that the system ceases to a Whole. It needs something else to complete it then.

A human being, as a perfect system who is a whole in oneself, is also the reflection of the Universe and has twin-flame aspects within oneself. Both the God and Goddess are in unison in a human being and when they unite in perfect balance, the person is in a perfect state of peace and happiness. Infact, by default the God and Goddess are already in balance in each and everyone of us when we are born, but as we evolve, their aspects go out of balance. The God and Goddess are the couple closest to the source and hence for the rest of the Universe, They Are the Source! In that sense, it can be said that the Universe in its material form is the Goddess Herself, but Her Soul is the God. It is only but natural that there is no other couple that is "capable" of balancing the collective Karma of the Universe. The fission and fusion of the Universe, when brought down to the scale of a human being is this - the soul leaving the body time and again and entering a fresh body so as to allow the eternal journey of the soul!

In a similar sense, the collective Karma of the planet and humanity can only be balanced by the Sustenance Couple. But then, each of the twin-flame couples are indeed contributing to a significant part in enabling the Sustenance Couple balance it. Again, it is the Cell-Body (Part & Whole) analogy! One cannot say "cells" are less important, because if they don't function (or function erratically like in Cancer), the Body can't function. At the same time, there has to be a master for the body to govern the cells of the body. So every part of the Universe is indeed contributing to the progress of the Universe in an important way in its own capacity owing to its scale.

To summarize, twin-flame couples are those couples who chose to take part in the dance of the Twin-Flame aspects of Earth to allow the execution of PoE event in a best possible way. Those couples DO have some self-interests here. No other work would place them on a faster course to ascension of their soul than taking part in the twin-flame dance. So that must really answer the question - "Why the hell does God/Universe put me through this suffering, when there is no guarantee of reunion?" They all made a conscious choice to participate, so it is only natural for the God/Universe to remind them of their mission whenever they are swaying away from it. For a person, there is no bigger God in this Universe than one's own soul and that soul has been yearning to evolve and ascend fast. It has taken up some tough challenges, set some tough goals for itself, so it is only natural that twin-flame couples are going through enormous pain to accomplish such tougher goals. It is said, God chooses the toughest of his soldiers for the toughest of his battles, so know that you are one of them.


Reversal of cause and effect:

Now, there is this notion that the runner is running because he/she is facing his/her inner demons, fears etc, that it is what makes them run, widening the twin-flame gap to the extent that the ego dies and then someday they will return when they can heal those inner wounds. This is not really true. The inner demons and fears are not "causing" the runner to run and leading to more incompatibility. It is the otherway round. The initial cosmic twin-flame incompatibility (triggered by the cosmic error) is what is causing the runner to run. The running is "causing" the inner demons and fears to surface up. The runner is facing inner demons and fears because he/she is running far away from himself/herself. So basically the effects of running are being seen as the causes of running. Because of this, we are trying to heal the wrong wounds. Understanding the problem is half of the solution. The cause of running is plain and simple - the initial incompatibility between the feminine and the masculine - the tendency of divergence which initiated this work by the couples in the first place.

Give this a bit more thought! Haven't we all seen people marrying early in life and growing and learning together and leading a happy life? Is it forbidden for learning to happen when a couple is together? If a twin flame is able to stay in a relationship/marriage with a non-twin-flame without having to face his/her fears, then why is it getting difficult for twin-flames to stay in a relationship/marriage? It is because there is unresolved Karma between them and they cannot unite before that is resolved. 

The story of the Sustenance Couple is intertwined in the story of each and every twin-flame couple. Since the story is intertwined, so are the errors of the Cosmic Play. We see that twin-flames invariably go through multiple relationships. Sometimes (infact most of the times), we see them getting married to a person who is not their twin-flame either because they do NOT have the awareness of their connection or even if they do have the awareness, they are not sure how to go about it. These multiple relationships are being perceived on the Internet as a platform for preparation for the real Twin-Flame relationship ahead or as a platform to clear off the Karma. This is again completely untrue! It is not God's way of preparing a couple for marriage, trust me! In a given life time, you don't need to learn how to lead a marriage/relationship from a random partner and then live it out seriously with a twin-flame partner. This is completely ridiculous. The multiple relationships are nothing but a spill-over of the cosmic incompatibility and error. (But remember that the Sustenance Couple did not progress further on the spiritual plane after the error, because if they do, it means they are performing the dance with incompatible roles and are on their way to nurture more and more unresolved Karma. So basically they have rejected such a path of incompatibility outrightly by shifting to the physical plane). The lives here are only a reflection of the cosmic play, so the errors have just spilled over into human plane. This is inevitable, hence the multiple relationships are inevitable in a way, but as one gets more and more aware, one will be able to reject the incompatible relationships. One will be able to stop such relationships from happening in their lives. But again, it depends on how (and when) the cosmic error is playing itself out in each and every twin-flame relationship. The multiple relationships are like those mistakes in the short-run, we discussed before. They are our fall-back mechanisms when cringing for stability.

Ideally (and that is ideally!), once a couple is initiated on the twin-flame connection, it must happen only between those two. There is NO ROOM for multiple connections. (I read about multiple connections on internet, but unfortunately that saps off the emotional energies of your higher self). Ideally, only a couple who is married (in the real sense of marriage) treads the path of twin-flame connection, because they are committed to each other and are ready to support each other on this journey. That is how the deities have been performing the Saadhana. The couple must actually agree with each other on the process they intend to follow, to balance the Karma. Atleast the key parts of it. But unfortunately, currently that is not the case and this is happening in its most adhoc way. Forget about marriage and commitment, people are not even communicating.

Why and how should one shut down the spiritual connection?

At the beginning of this article, I proposed a solution that to break free of the twin-flame cycle, you must try to bring about a convergence between spiritual realm and physical realm. It means that, if you have done enough work and are either hopeful or seeing clear signs of your twin-flame reunion, you can actually continue your spiritual relationship. But I'd guess, that such couples who are already seeing/have already seen positive signs of reunion are only 5% of the twin-flame couples on Earth. The rest of them are still (or have been) grappling with this dilemma of how the relationship on spiritual plane and physical plane can be so starkly opposite. This is the subject under discussion here, so it is they who must shut down the connection. I outrightly said that the connection must be shutdown, but we did not discuss why. Let's see now, why it must be shut down.

Eitherway, it is to bring about a convergence between spiritual and physical realms. If it is working in the physical plane, make it work on the spiritual plane. If it isn't, on the physical plane, then don't make it work on the spiritual plane. If you still try to make it work on the spiritual plane despite no signs in the physical plane, it only amounts to increasing the divergence. You are either stuck with your own past or future self that way. Currently when you are not really on a favourable ride with your counterpart and if in the spiritual plane you are, doesn't it mean that the spiritual plane is nowhere near your present tense? (Time w.r.t physical plane!) So, you are only prolonging the process and delaying your reunion by living with your future self or indulging in your past self. For brief periods, that's fine since you need to understand how to go about it, but for prolonged periods, this is NOT suggested. The idea is to pull yourself more into the 'now' timeframe. That way, if not in this lifetime, atleast in a couple of future lifetimes you will be able to thrust your path to that of convergence. (I say that only to be technically right, but I'm hopeful that we are going to succeed in this lifetime itself!) In either case, it is NOT the end of the roads for twin-flames. When the spiritual roads are closed, the roads do open up on Earth.

Since, we have already understood who twin flames are, let's try to look at this dance from both the ends. After the error, this is the state of collective Masculine and Feminine of Earth - It is as though they are facing away from each other but each of them is facing a mirror, a reflection of their own self. This shall be the case until that error is rectified. And to rectify that error, there must be a convergence between spiritual and physical realms. Infact the Masculine and Feminine have swapped their roles after the error. So whatever treatment you are receiving from your twin-flame now is mostly how you have treated them earlier! How long can one indulge in the reflection of one's own self? Just think about it, infinite reflection of our own self, within our own self! That is going to be crazy! But that is the destination such a divergence leads us to. So, we must break that as soon as possible. The real crux of the problem is that, the guidance has been diametrically opposite to the counterparts of the twin-flame connection. One end of the twin-flames has been receiving guidance to nurture the relationship on spiritual plane and the other end of the guidance is that they must try to nurture the relationship on the physical plane. Typically, the former end is the man and the latter end is the woman. This is only to bring about a balance of both the planes. So neither of them is at fault. Blame the Gods and your own higher selves for crafting such a plan where you are being asked to converge from the swinging extreme ends. The reality is that such is the current burden of Karma that needs to be resolved and once you realize this, you will understand what a magnificent role you have been playing all along!!!

The good news here is that our higher selves* (See Footnotes [4]) have already completed the needed work on the astral plane. If you do enough work to tune yourself to your higher self, you can instantly do the needful of you - as if just downloading a package from internet and installing it on your system! It's really that simple! Coming to the 'how' part of it - you must be really clear that you don't intend to deal with the stream of energy and consciousness anymore now that you know that you are receiving more and more of it due to an error. Once you instill this awareness, the dance changes and so shall the patterns of energy and consciousness within you.

Shutting down doesn't ofcourse happen in a second or a day, you must still deal with streams of energy and consciousness, but in a different way. It is with an intention to reduce them instead of indulging in them and accepting more of the streams. You will receive the needed inner guidance on how to deal with the streams, as you flip your stand. Whatever guidance I received, is on my blog. You can no more choose to remain an observer and let the dance happen as it is happening (though a bit of an observer state is needed, being in that state always doesn't help much). You must by all means swing into action and NOT remain an observer, because you have to own up your responsibilities (for you too have contributed to this amplification of Karma) and fight your own battles. Good luck to all of you with that! :-)

Once the connection is shut-down, it feels as though a spell that has been cast so far on you, has just been taken off you. It is a very peaceful state, I'm in it now, so I know it. With that clear mind and soul, the twin-flame couple understands that they are a couple who were once in love either on the astral plane or earthly dimensions and have been through a twin-flame connection. They might still be in love, but it's for them to check and decide how to go about it. If they are not really interested in each other now, they can just go about their own paths (but this is usually weird and rare because if twin-flame connection cannot make you fall in love, then what else can? But if earth has evolved so much, that it is out of alignment with the Source, then one of the twin-flames might not be just that much into the other!). But if it's otherwise, then they will have the courage to materialize their long ill-fated relationship. But the bottom line is that, one need not enter into a relationship with a person for the sole reason that he/she has been their counterpart in the twin-flame dance. (Again, that's a real outlier case, but still possible, so I'm just writing it to be technically right and complete!) This holds good even for the Sustenance Couple themselves, in which case a different Couple will be assigned the responsibility of guarding life on Earth.

I don't know if this write-up is going to be helpful to anybody at all. But as I wrote it, I found myself getting into more and more harmony with the environment around me, so I see that the main purpose of it is fulfilled. Thanks for reading through, if you have actually come this far.


*[1] Why should anybody victimize oneself to unrequited love, even after being touched by the Divine in a unique way? Unrequited love makes one obsessive, weak and forget one's own self-worth, ofcourse at the end it might make one stronger than ever. But if you allow it to, it might push you to a point of return! You can never be the same. Ofcourse, no one is ever the same after being in love, but if you ask people to choose only one aspect from a hundred, I'd guess most of them would choose "Passion for Life", atleast I would. Unrequited love can push you to that point of no return where you no more are the same passionate self. So please do not let that passion in you die, you have so much more to do! Unrequited love can sap off and kill years from your life, but know that the person keeping you at bay has his/her reasons after all...even if you are taken over by an overwhelming sense of love. Infact, if they too did, they would reciprocate, wouldn't they? Sometimes, unfortunately years of life are wasted (or maybe not) when all that was needed was a 10-minute frank conversation between two aware and responsible adults leading to a closure. Ofcourse, it is often easier said than done, especially in twin-flame connections.

[2] Infact that phase where in the aware twin-flame waits on the unaware twin-flame (the twin-flame who is totally unaware of the connection) in the assumption that their counterpart might be aware of it, might be even more painful. But again, I don't cover that case here. Perhaps most of the twin-flames have already crossed this barrier so mostly both are aware by this time.

[3] When I say it is absolutely right for me, I mean I don't feel like analyzing if it is right or wrong. It is like the fact I've come to know from the Source and I don't doubt the 'source' of that information. So it is merely the awareness of a fact for me. Even if somebody comes along and asks - "How do you know it's true? Maybe it isn't?", I don't feel like answering them with - "Maybe!" And here is a disclaimer for the so-called Skeptics, just in case they bump into this content (owing to the phrase "Skeptics" in this blogpost, hehe, although it is highly unlikely they do, because my experience from a discussion with Skeptics group on Goodreads is that Skeptics do not understand Mysticism, do not need Mysticism and hence are not in search of it. So it is highly unlikely that they search for content on 'Twin Flames' because after all TWIN-FLAMES are MYSTIC, aren't they?) - I'm not asking anybody here to buy my truth, so I don't have any responsibility to prove that it is your truth too. Well, truth is truth, but it can be interpreted differently by different people, so that is when things like 'your truth', 'my truth', 'your reality', 'my reality' pop up. And when truth itself has multiple interpretations, why not Science? So that's how we have 'your science' and 'my science'!

[4] When I say higher selves, I don't mean that we are lower selves or something. The higher selves have access to higher dimensions of the Universe and guide us while we are on our travails on Earth within the constraints of human existence. Each of us has a higher existence and taking that a bit ahead, the Sustenance Couple represent our higher selves and taking that further ahead, the God and Goddess represent our highest selves possible. The higher self is termed 'higher' because it is 'higher' in scale and hence naturally has higher capacities.....and higher responsibilities or even higher burden too!


deepa said...

I am overwhelmed by reading your findings and your journey. Please give me some directions. What is the correct way to do sadhna? I have suffered a lot due to this dark force, I know it earlier also but in reality by now. Also as I balance myself and begin to feel yearning for my twin, it disappear itself. It is continuing since i understood that it is a +ive energy. I have told God that u take him far away from me but let me get my prayers devoted to him. Feeling him inside myself gives me power. I am hang about in spiritual paths.

smanu said...

Hmm, so you are asking what's the correct way to do Saadhana!

Ideally your internal energy and consciousness must guide you! Also, the ideal destination is to optimize, gradually minimize and finally nullify the explicit energy and consciousness that's flowing through you! Coz, as humans we are not supposed to experience them explicitly! As humans we were not born with such things, so it's only normal that the explicit spiritual energy sensations only vanish...NOT ACCESSIBLE from the Earthly realm. They (Energy and Consciousness components) must flow freely through us...humans must NOT be energy consumers or abusers, but be merely a perfect medium for the energy to flow freely!

These posts may shed some details on attaining BALANCE:

deepa said...

Dear Mamta
I am very thankful for your reply and wonderful sharing. After many days I am replying you as I thought that I also will share few experiences with you. Your sharing gives me some hope and insight of stages to be attined. By concentrating on breadth makes my brain more alert even while sleeping, so I could not try that. For concentrating once, it takes atleast many days effort. I think it takes effort for all as I was reading your blog. Now a days, I am little bit in better situation than before. I have a question here? When I concentrate I feel movement of few of chakras. One day late night I felt that energy swerling from the bottom but I got afraid of that energy and could not concentrate on that deep within. Generally if something happens we can concentrate more and it relexes. That day, due to fear I just slept. After that again I tried to concentrate and concentrate more and one more time I felt like mild energy swerling from bottom upto head, it relaxed me this time. Shall I continue meditating this way? How to know that I am at right path?
I lost spiritual connection to my twin suddenly. If something is gradual, it is undetectable but something happened suddenly. As I understood that how much love is there I began to feel it deeply, the moment connection got lost. Since then I attained spiritual growth day by day.
I have passed a long time in violative psyche after that day. I will like to share that how I came out of that, even though I learnt a lot in this time but I lost much more. I am still struggling with that phase but now atleast some positivity is there and sometime morning will arise. Still I want to attatch with him spiritually again, I want to wait for him with the same yearning as before. Don’t know in this life time it will happen again or not.
Initially for 3-4 months I did dynamic meditation of Osho.
Since approximately 3 months I am doing
In morning
1. I do 15 minute warmup or physical exercise.
2. 15 minute kapal bharti pranayam
3. 15 minute brahmari pranayam
4. Relax and meditate
I evening
1. 1 minute warm up
2. 30 minute brahmari pranayam
3. Relax and meditate

deepa said...

I have seen this phase, it is too much painful. Don’t know how to come out of it? Till I did not accept the reason of yearning for my twin, it was struggle. The moment I began to understand deep love for him, it again became struggle. Suddenly I felt that I am in this world where 3D relations are in priority along with that total detachment with my twin. I cried and struggled to fight my ego for 1 year along with that spiritually grew but could not regain loving and devoting state. That lacking is increasing with time. I am unable to progress in job, everybody laughs at me. When I concentrate I feel movement of back bone and energy swerling from the bottom to upwards. But repeatedly after few days I come to zero state from where even it is difficult to concentrate. Many days effort it takes to concentrate fully once. I read your article of dark forces and felt the same happening with me. Shall I stop imposing any effort? My twin is also struggling with many other things. Where to go, with whom to ask? I know it is not appropriate time union but till then I will have to be deteched to him? Please give me any suggesations, more than you no body knows.

smanu said...

Dear Deepa,

Looks like you are going through a lot...yeah a twin flame journey is never easy, as you know...and definitely not for the faint-hearted....

Regarding meditation and pranayama, what works for one, might not always work for the other. I'm not an expert at Pranayama, so I cannot comment on the regimen you are following.

Coming to's not always about "concentrating" on a particular thing...looking at it the other way, it's about observing anything and everything that pops up inside and outside you, by being a still observer. This brings us to the state of "Being Aware" of what's happening and leads us to the peace and bliss of pure Awareness. So replace the act of "concentrating" with "observing" and then I'm sure you will start to see some changes! Just let things happen and let everything flow freely...that's the real trick behind meditation.

Regarding the energy movements and flow in the spine and other parts of your to deal with it, one should know it through their own inner guidance. What I wrote is what worked for me, but it's possible you need different remedies. "Sambhavi Mudra" and "Belly Breathing" are two techniques I suggest when the energies are pretty heavy!

But instead, if you are experiencing "Void", it can be very difficult and tricky...and the above two techniques might not really work then. I experienced void for the past two years and only recently did it culminate. During void, techniques that worked for me are listening to music, singing, watching movies and such sort of things where I don't need to put much efforts...basically things which expect me to be an observer rather than a doer (singing being an exception). Different pastimes might work for you.

I also suggest medication for void coz void puts the mind into a state of "Zero Impulse" and the mind needs some external help to get off that zero state and get going. It needs a gentle nudge and that can come in the form of some medication may help if nothing else is working. Try to seek help from a good doctor!Just last week I started medication since I felt that my "Spiritual Awakening" has culminated and there's no work left over for me on that plane for now. Ever since my Awakening, for the past 6 years, I have been careful so far NOT to use medicines since I feel they disturb the flow and effect of spiritual energies on me...But now that I know the work is over, I think it's time to seek some medical help. One can't remain a zombie forever, can they?

Regarding the "spiritual disconnection" you are experiencing, I think that's absolutely fine. Same with me and many other twin flames too. We are at such a juncture wherein the spiritual chords between the twin flames are being cut off...we are getting into that "NOT REACHABLE" mode. Once more than half of the Twin Flame Collective reaches that stage, it means the "Spiritual Union" is done and the time is good for "Physical Reunion". The destination for "spiritual connection" between twin flames on Earth is "spiritual disconnection" after all (This is something I had emphasized and reiterated a lot on Quora, if you observed my answers closely). It means that the mission is accomplished and the balance has been attained. So, I suggest not to worry about that!

Coming to your last statement, I'd say, just like any other human being, I too am too little to grasp the Cosmic Wisdom which is always infinite. Each of us is a finite person after all! :-)

Good luck to you on your endeavours Deepa!

smanu said...

Also, I feel 30 mins of Pranayam a day is a little too much. I do 3 sets of "Kapaal Bhaathi", 30 counts each set...takes hardly 3 mins I guess...and once in a while I do Sri Sri breathing techniques (Art of Living, Part I - breathing techniques with ujjai breath) which come to around 10 mins in total.

I'd say I do very light pranayama and that's enough for me. I'm only regular with Kapaal Bhaathi (2-3 mins)...Sri Sri breathing I left long ago and started catching up on it only recently. I agree that "rapid breathing" can be quite a problem when energies are heavy. So I suggest you not to spare so much time for pranayama when your energies are high. Even simple inhale and exhale for a couple of mins tagged with 15 mins of meditation in "observer" state is a GOOD enough daily regimen.

deepa said...

Dear Mamta
I am feeling again that some current is there in my heart after listening you. If you are with me, I wouldn’t have let you to take meditions.
One of my known uncle is 70 years old. He is suffering from dybities since many years even though he used to be meditator and consulter once upon a time. His wife was dead and he could not see her dead body. Since then he is in shock and waiting for his own last moment. When we don’t know our last time then why to wait for that? The thing we wait for goes far away. Even left last 1 minute is to be lived.
Why awakening is not able to give power to you. I am not awakened to that extent but trying for that. It is hopeless thing that at the last of tunnel also there will be dark. I am not enlightened but understood from this struggle that dhyan is main thing. To whatever we focus it increases and there is nothing like good or bad feelings at the level of soul. You already know this thing. Just divert your focus. Live your life sweety.
In my department one too young lady is there having 4 children. Her husband is no more. She works hard but unable to feed them properly. I saw her in dream consoling her and there I got an indication that I have a kind heart to serve people.
I stay in IIT Kanpur campus. Some time if you come here I will be happy to see you or if I come to Hyderabad for some conference then I will meet you. We can enjoy few moments of life. You may have some other friends as well. Your struggle is much more than any one else as I felt since begning.

smanu said...

Hey, don't worry about my medication Deepa! Trust me, I'm doing really well. Until a month ago, if somebody said they were taking medicines, I would have responded the same way as you did. But now, after consulting a good doctor I differ.

I know medicines interrupt the spiritual energies and also have their dose of side effects. I know of various stories where the period of Awakening has prolonged for some people due to medicines, sometimes dragging by years. I think timing is the key - when does one want to go for meds and for what reason specifically!

In my case, I knew strongly that my Awakening process has culminated...not that I have achieved the ultimate enlightenment or anything, but the purpose for which I was awakened by the Divine, I know that has been fulfilled. I was not getting any new insights or anything for the last few months yet going through void. This void seemed like a bottomless pit and I needed some anchor, an external intervention to get out of it. I genuinely expected the Awakening process itself to do that stabilization for me and last few months I have been waiting for the same and it didn't happen. It was getting terrible - that emptiness, that just kept growing and growing. Finally, I got this sign that I need to take meds, so I did and I wouldn't regret now. It's going well! I'm not taking meds for Depression or's just for the emptiness I was give the brain a gentle nudge so that it gets off that inertia of void. It's just tuned to higher realms, needs some help to get grounded, that's all! I can say, I'm heading in the right direction now... :-)

I think taking meds in the initial or middle stages of Awakening is less useful in a sense that it intervenes the energies. Taking it towards the end, in my opinion, is harmless. And when one reaches the end stages of Awakening, they will know...that they are reaching the end of this path! But, if Awakening itself can stabilize a person without using medicines, then that's best! Honestly, I expected that (and waited) but sadly that was not the way to happen for me!

"Just divert your focus."
Let me tell you, when I was experiencing void, there was nothing to focus, none to focus. There WAS no doer inside me, only observer, lol!! :-)

"Why awakening is not able to give power to you."
Because, there is limited power allotted to everybody on this path. And immense power has been given to me in the initial stages itself. My Awakening followed a descending spiral as far as energy/power is concerned. I travelled in a reverse gear I feel! :-)

"I know it is not appropriate time union but till then I will have to be deteched to him? Please give me any suggesations,"

Why do you think it's not appropriate time for reunion? Actually you experiencing spiritual disconnection with your TF is a good sign that your physical reunion may be somewhat getting closer. What makes you think this is NOT the appropriate time? Actually after the spiritual disconnection once both the twin flames feel BALANCED, each on their own, then they are good to come together. If you keep assuming that you need to reach the same level of spiritual enlightenment as your TF, then that "same scale" will never happen. It will remain elusive. People enlighten on different scales. It is infact physical reunion that BRIDGES that spiritual gap between twin flames. So, once the BALANCE is reached you both are good to go! Many twin flames mistakenly assume and set "same level of spiritual enlightenment" as their goal or milestone.

And finally you don't have to be detached to your TF. That's close to impossible except for temporary periods. Let the LOVE flow and let the TRUTH prevail!

By the way, what do you do in IIT Kanpur? Do you work as a faculty or are you studying still?

deepa said...

I wanted to say that if anchor is any guru under whose congruence you gain enlightment, will give path for your energy to flow in different direction. I am feeling that you may do something extra ordinary or help people for their enlightment. I will be your student. I am not saying to do cherity in fact I want to say that do any thing for yourself. I have realied that Krishna’s love for himself made all gopis to attract towards him. Radha and Krishna did not take birth to give example or to help anybody but their love for themselves (2 bodies, 1 soul) made light of love to spread itself. In Vrindavan now also thousands years old trees are there which do not need water and contain two types of leaves. There are youtube videos on this. Please do not feel it my suggesation as if you talk 2 me you will understand that I am like hat only. I felt you within me then I told.
I told union is far because of 2 reasons 1. I was in total darkness and confusion that time as I was struggling since 1 year and that day I was about to leave to work on myself, I just lost my patience. After seeing your mail I got some strength. The other day morning was new to me. 2. I have big wall of karma to cross which I tried to escape when I read ur statement that one cant be caterpillar and butterfly all at the same time but couldn’t and got a message that I will get a bad fate if I do it.
I am national post doctoral fellow here after completing PhD from IIT(BHU).
You have given path to many like me by your sharings. When your mail comes, I do not believe as I feel myself worthy to contact you. you are high energy source for me.

smanu said...

Let's see what is in store for me in the future Deepa!

You seem to be in the middle of your Awakening process. As time progresses, you would eventually gain confidence and be at peace. You don't need to hesitate to post me anytime! Good luck for your endeavours!

deepa said...

Thank you 4 ur support and reply. I wait 4 it. Not more but it gives me exaltation and hope that everything is going to be fine. Today when I saw ur mail my kundalini began to move inside. I felt excellent. That day also when I was defeated with myself, ur mail came immediately and next day itself I felt 1st time something is moving upward. This all is amazing. I am astonished.
Where ever u live "May God give you strength and balance"

lots of Love


Unknown said...

Im trying to write a big comment, but it says; Your HTML cannot be accepted: Must be at most 4,096 characters

smanu said...

I forgot to tell you...but thanks Deepa for your loving wishes. I'm at that stage in life where I'm regaining balance. So, I was reminded of this comment of yours! :-) I hope you are doing well!

smanu said...

Oh sorry! I saw your comment pretty late. But, if you are still interested in sharing your comments, just an idea...why don't you break your long comment into multiple comments, because I haven't been able to figure out how to control the length of user comments. ;-)

deepa said...

I can understand that it is hectic to manage job with long comments. I will shorten them. Thank you for your support. I told you that I felt a sudden detachment from my twin. I used not to understand its purpose but it was a psychic attack and was to make me appreciate love and create understanding about twin flames journey.

deepa said...

I dont understand why but whenever I gain spiritual height, I feel more detached to my twin? Negative energies are not bad but want to test person's zeal. This detachment has broken me down. Can it be influence of my constant negative thinking about my twin that I am not worthy for him so will have to leave him? Without him I will feel void but every time I will be with his thoughts and prayer to reconnect.

deepa said...

Why not I be interested in connecting with you? You are the only person who has replied me. I get hope from you and positive frequencies also. Patiently you read all comments. Otherwise no1 is interested in others difficulties. Sorry for any long comment, I will take care of it.

smanu said...

Hey no! That comment on length of user comments was in response to @Sean Meow's comment above! I am comfortable writing long comments myself and reading long comments written by others too. Absolutely no problems there!

smanu said...

Coming to detachment with your twin flame, this is my idea. Twin flames or not, when you are not in touch with a person for years, you will naturally feel detached with them. Twin flames are no exception to the general patterns of human psyche and response.

Also, I no more believe in the "divine love" concept of twin flames. Forget about 'divine' love, but 'true' love per se, shouldn't hurt so much. True love cannot play a silent spectator to the other's suffering. There is no "love" whatsoever left in the long run in the so-called twin-flame relationship. It is not even a "relationship" I'd say. There is no give and take, no expectations, no communication, nothing in this one-way street where each twin flame is full of one's own shit (assumptions, beliefs, opinions and what not!) Where is the truth here?

This must be a big cosmic prank!! I don't have the energy to fuel this prank anymore. This twin flame journey has time and again reminded me of the limitedness and powerlessness of being a human. So, I want to remain one - a human! I cut it off with my ex-twin flame at all levels. Though 6 years maybe a big time to have dwelled on this journey, I'm glad I at least cut it off now. So, in case you are seeking help/info for your twin flame issues, you are actually talking to a wrong person here. :-)

smanu said...

No worries! As I already said, I don't have any issues with the length of your comments. Just look up @Seon Meow's comment above and you will understand what I meant.

Yeah true, I do pay concern towards the hardships twin flames are going through. It's because I feel they are going through immense trauma caused out of pointless reasons. And to top it there is no emotional support available for them through family, friends and society. It's a pathetic, pitiful, disgusting and unfortunate journey to say the least. I have been through it, so that's the least I can do.

deepa said...

Hi Mamta
I was puzzled and unable to even write to you due to reasons written below. I need your useful suggesations. Please help!
I liked what you said "twin flame is full of one's own shit (assumptions, beliefs, opinions and what not!) Where is the truth here?" because it is true. There is no support. I felt that in any case I need to be balanced first, then only everyone will come to ask for support. Otherwise life has no meaning. Leave it.
When earlier I talked to you, you told me that I am in middle of awakening but as I gained spiritual heights by working hard, something happened and everything got ruined and left me at ground. It has happened many times still I was working for awakening. But this time it has left me broken hearted. I became more lethargic and lost. I was even unable to concentrate for a moment before this, I was in peace, new hope was there and atleast 2 hours at a time I was able to concentrate. I lost all suddenly. I am feeling lonely from inside and dragged of energy. I don’t have faith in anyone, no trust in God, even though I am trying to reconnect my soul. Daily I feel that I have lost everything in this journey. Where I have come? No1 is there to even talk with love.
Before joining IIT Kanpur, (2 years before) I went to Vipassana (Buddhas meditation technique) for 10 days. I felt good experiences and got peace and understood about love and motherlihood feeling I have. But suddenly I lost connection with my soul one day. Since then I lost empathic abilities, dragged of energy and heart centre got closed. That soul numbness has made me scarf of flash and meat. I could not concentrate in studies, 2 years got wasted, I read many research articles but can not recall single. No publications and time is about to finish here within 6 months. I will not get any recommendation from my mentor and consequently no job. I am topic of laughter for juniors. Inside emptiness was there and it was giving me impression that once I reconnect to my soul, everything is going to settle down. I searched many things, read from many sources, tried many methods of meditation, talked to many people but nothing worked. At last I was trying through pranayama which began to work to get at least some positive energy but that also is lost. For 3 months I could not even concentrate for a single moment, then I left and now after long time sometimes I can concentrate for few moments. But feel hopeless and nothingness. I am married and now pregnant so cant go for pranayama path again for few months. I don’t understand, where I was wrong? Do I need a Guru or I am at wrong path? I feel that I am not worthy for this journey. Since child hood I was told that I am not worthy for being good daughter, student and am not beautiful because many boys who came for marriage proposal rejected me. Again later with time everything is proved that I am not worthy for anything. Now I can not give any support to anyone. My unconscious mind thinking may also have to be healed for this journey but I am not in condition to come out of that. How to love and accept ourself? Is it necessary to do that?

deepa said...

I will again read your previous posts also. I was feeling bad to share my negative feelings to you but once I am balanced, will help others and not leave any1 incomplete. I know you also are on medicines. I will again work for balancing myself.

smanu said...

Dear Deepa,

I think I understand what you are going through. Looks like you too are going through void like I once did (numbness, you being unable to concentrate or remember, hint me towards that!)

I know completely wellwell pathetic it is to go through spiritual void. It tears one's personality at many levels and makes one feel dead from inside. No words can do justice to describe its state.

Unfortunately, I don't know of a path wherein spiritual void heals itself through meditation and other practices alone. I have dealt energy (both positive and negative) pretty well, but void is far difficult to handle and to me it seems meditation, pranayama alone are not sufficient to handle void. This state requires some external intervention. And to me, it came in the form of medicines.

My suggestion for you is - you too try them. There will be some side effects initially, but later the transition is mostly smooth. All you need is a good doctor!! Trust me, I'm doing pretty well now. I know the resistance you feel to take that step towards medication. You fear that the spiritual integrity maybe hampered. It maybe! True! But definitely it is better than whiling away precious years in that empty state.

smanu said...

Don't hesitate to share your negative feelings with me. It is more important to discuss negativity and arrive at a solution, than it is to share positive vibes.

To your previous question: "How to love and accept ourself? Is it necessary to do that?"

Of course, 'self-love' and 'acceptance' are pretty important! And how to achieve them? By "doing" them. By practicing them constantly. I feel sorry to know about you feeling unworthy of things. Let me tell you, it is only an illusion. You are worthy of everything. Those guys who rejected you, they are not meant to be part of your life, that's all! I'm done with these games people play about rejecting each other. People who rejected others vocally or subtly don't know the damage they are doing to others. But unless, you place some value on that rejection, no body can actually reject you. So reject all those rejections and put that past behind you! Be proud that you are experiencing Awakening. This is one of a kind experience for sure!

Also, at the moment, forget about helping and supporting others. Please take care of yourself. Once you are balanced, you will be able to do, whatever you are destined to do. Your "self" comes first. Everything else is secondary.