Friday, December 26, 2014

Old Beginnings

Now that surely is a misnomer, I mean the title. I'm trying to word out and indicate that beginning which I have been postponing for quite a lot of time. Postponing, brewing the idea if I should or should not begin and then ignoring it and then again considering it as if it is one of those decisions that really matters and is going to shape my life (maybe it really matters, we never know until it does) in the coming years, again damning it for a while in Sita's Eye mode ( In telugu, "Sita kannu veyyadam" means "ignoring a given thing and not giving it even the most bare minimal concern - basically not caring a damn about it") and then wondering what's the whole point about this blogging (which most of the times, for me, turned out to be 'thinking aloud' writing) and then finally giving it a thought!

Ok, now those very few old readers of my blog, if they happen to read this post, would know that I made that up. The truth is, I never wanted to begin this again. Today, some impulse inside me surfaced up and I just thought why not begin it again, so here I am. So basically I'm beginning my blog again and honestly I hope this to be a new beginning...in a sense that I don't want to carry forward my old style of writing, especially its purpose!

And for the future readers of my blog, just some introduction. This is Smanu here, who blogs when she feels impulsive, when she wants to get her revelations, ramblings (and creative writing practice) out when she no longer can contain the burden of it with her. Mind you, she never thinks so much before writing something, especially the whether or not, should I or should I not part. Even if she does, that will be very much part of that post. It is not necessarily to share it (this writing) with a larger audience, but more importantly not to keep it to herself. That said, she'd any day prefer a smaller set of responsive audience who do not inhibit her creative writing, irrespective of the discomfort, if any. Basically, she expects and appreciates a bit of tolerance in the audience, because after all the audience have some element of interest in the blog.

Now from the third-person mode back into first-person mode. Dear Future Readers of the blog! All my old writing - hmm, not really all, but most of it - has been published as a book - my first book - "Inside-Out". If you are interested to know a bit about me, just please click on that link and "Look Inside" and you will know a fair deal about me, in fact a fair enough deal to follow me here.

So, that means all my old writing is no more available online, which is a good thing actually (about which I'm sure the old readers would concur). I don't know about others, but it is really good and relieving for me, because I'm looking at shifted interests and topics.

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So, I was thinking about an apt topic to start my blog and I hear random lyrics, I mean lyrics of a random song my brother is playing aloud on his system currently - yes very much right now. The lyrics go like this - "....blah blah, ... blah blah.... ika neenu neevu okataipothee aagipodaa kaalam...blah blah...blah blah...blah blah..." Now that's a telugu song, so looks like the rest of the post is not going to make any sense for non-telugu people, so such reader(s) please excuse yourself(ves) from this! Thank You!

Now seriously, I don't understand this obsession lyricists have about freezing time. Yes, the problem is with the lyricists. I don't think the directors, actors and music directors today have such romantic fantasies anyway! I don't think they care any more, this kind of pure innocent romance doesn't seem to be the in-thing these days and even telugu movie audience don't care any more. That said, I'd really love to care, I really wish to care about such naive nuances, but again some how even I don't care anymore and I honestly don't know why. My only guess is, I've grown too old to care about it. But just before few years, just before, say 2 years, I did have the energy to care about such innocent ramblings, but now I don't know why, I've all of a sudden grown too old for it. So this ageing thing is very tricky, you see and it doesn't seem to follow any strict periodicity rules. So now you vaguely know that the topic for today is TIME.

Ok, back to the naive nuances part! So you and I are not bothered about these petty issues, one of them being - freezing time. But still, lyricists seem to be clinging to these lyrics. Right now, at this very moment, I can list down at least three songs that have this "let's freeze time now! Bingo, let's just do it!" act in them...

1. "Pade pade ventaadee kala.." song from 'Kalusukovalani' movie ...."Yugaalu kalakaalamu ilaage nuvvaagumaa, dayunchi oo doorama ivaala itu raakumaa..."

2. "Uyyalainaa Jampaalainaa..." song from 'Uyyaala Jampaala' movie... "...Okkoo kshanam pothee poni poyeeedemundi? Kaalannilaa aapee balam iddaarlo undi..."

3. "Emito Ivvala..." song from 'Andaala Rakshasi' movie... "...Aagani prayaanamai yugaalugaa saagina oo kaalamaa, nuvvee aagumaa thane naa chentha nundaga..."

4. Now the song that started this all in this post...from the movie 'Bhadram'. (Nice movie by the way..)

5. "Kadilee kaalamaa kaa seepu aagavamma, jarigee veeduka kallaara chuudavamma..." from the movie 'Peddarayudu'.

And give me 20 more mins of research time and I can list down 10 more songs at least.

In fact, not just the lyricists, but once upon a time, the capability of "freezing time" was looked upon as sort-of an essential parameter to measure true love.

Anyway, I don't like to talk more and more about freezing time because I, of all, know how it feels to be frozen in time, but for very different reasons, in a very different manner. Now you sit in meditation for some while and you come out of it expecting 30 mins to pass by, but three long hours have already passed. And then you are supposed to follow a regimen for 45 days and you don't know whether time has frozen once in a week for 45 days or if some mice chew off some Mondays and Tuesdays in the month but  what you do know is, it is weekend already. And then, a year seems to have passed by in a jiffy and you have not done anything...anything at all. Nothing more than getting out of bed, doing the daily routines, eating, bathing, sleeping, washing hands, eating, washing hands, staring, washing hands, yawning, checking mail, washing hands, looking at your face in the mirror, eating, washing hands....checking mail, staring at mobile, staring at computer, staring at life, staring at time, staring into the void, staring inside, staring outside, washing hands, checking mail, washing hands and then losing track of why you were washing hands, but washing hands seems to be the best thing to ward off time, coz you get to look at yourself in the mirror, pity yourself for this ill-luck of washing hands and then get busy again washing hands....sleeping, getting into sleep thinking that you must seriously think about your life sometime and call it a day at least for few things and then sleeping....and then waking up....sometimes you wake up as though you were woke up all your life that you have never slept....

So if you get a "golden" opportunity to pass time this way - would you say that you were frozen in time or would you say time was running or would you say you waited in the same moment while you allowed time to run its course, basically to take its natural course? Would you enjoy being frozen in time? I've had enough of it....for now. Let me clarify that - I've had enough of it, but that is only for now. Any day if you ask me to make a choice - choose between being frozen in time this way or engage yourselves in time in such a fashion that you are eating three years in one year, I'd perhaps choose the former. Now chew a bit on the second choice - "eating three years in one year" definitely doesn't mean time is running fast. I'd have jumped to that conclusion few years ago if I was taking a rapid fire round of 'relative time' questions, but not now. Now, I'm slightly better at being quick about relative time. (Yeah, but given enough time I'd always arrive at right conclusions about time, 2 years ago or today) "Eating three years in one year" means time is running slow. It can also mean that you are eating out the resources of three years in just one year. Yes, it can mean either of them irrespective of "your" perception of time. And the description I gave in my last para, if I succeeded to do it right, is of such phase where either time is running fast or you are given just 4 months' (1/3 year's) resources to spend for one full year.

I have something more to talk about time. But I will keep it for tomorrow.






2 comments:

Mahesh said...

Stop that background music it is irritating while reading

smanu said...

If it is irritating for you, you may kindly mute your device. It might pleasant sound for somebody else. And today's background music "Give me your eyes!" definitely sounds pleasant to me.

And Congrats! You are the first to comment here after my blog was renewed.